Sleepless Premonition
by copus
... President Steinbrenner will order full federal funding for stem cell research after a group finds a potential cure for both impotence and male pattern baldness. Forget cancer, *these* are the scourges that get the public's attention. Of course, this development will be overshadowed by the tense joint U.S.-Soviet mission to Jupiter and the gas giant's overnight transformation into another star in our solar system.
Whoah... maybe I should stop drinking so much caffeine during the day...
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